Going sober

I’ve decided to quit alcohol.

Today I woke up feeling fresh and ready to take on the day, as I type its currently 9.30am and I’ve already done 3 loads of washing, the same however, can’t be said for last Sunday.  Last Sunday, I had a hangover, I felt rough, I was sick, it was my Mums birthday and I’d promised to make dinner for the whole family, a task that I literally scraped through and couldn’t even face the end result.  It was tough and I lost count of how many times I said ‘I’m never drinking again!‘  I almost meant it.  Until I forgot how awful I had felt and called Kevin after work on Friday proclaiming ‘I’ve had a nightmare day could you pick me up some wine!‘

He brought me wine (I know he’s a keeper) and said ‘You’re “never drinking again” lasted long…a whole week!’… I let that one slide, because he brought the wine.

He was right though, I didn’t drink the wine and I’ve decided not to drink alcohol again….until after the Marathon,  21st May, maybe forever, but my goal for now is May 21st.

My relationship with alcohol has been turbulent, not in a ‘Hi my name is Angela and I’m an alcoholic’ kind of way but more an on-off relationship, I can’t handle my drink, I am a self confessed light-weight, a cheap date if you will.  I also, like most, am a binge drinker.

When my friends started drinking we were underage, I was too scared to join them (I saw how much trouble my older sister got in, ha) They made fun of me for it but were always grateful when I got them home ok and kept them out of too much trouble.

When we were old enough (but probably still underage) I’d go out to bars with them at the weekend and maybe have one drink, an alcopop or a beer but never enough to get drunk.  On occasion I’d have a little more and I’d vomit, I’m not one of those people who can throw up then just get back to the party.  I gotta go home and I’m sick the whole day after.

I didn’t really drink as I hated the way it made me feel, I could never work out how much I could handle as it seemed to differ all the time, so it was easier not to bother.

A doctor once told me to take the children’s dosage on a medication because I was so small…. can I have a kids G’n’T please?!!

University is a very sociable place,  it was difficult not to drink , I was probably out in town with friends most nights (I didn’t drink EVERY night) and it was so inexpensive that alcohol could cost less than soft drinks- 50p vodkas in the Meadowpark on a Tuesday became our thing, we literally would ask for a pint glass with triple vodka and top it up with lemonade – it cost £2 and was a sure fire way for you to not realise how much you’d had.

Like most of my friends,  there were more than a few student days spent, regretting drinking too much, regretting drunken fumbles, regretting drunken tumbles, regretting saying something or texting someone you shouldn’t have whilst drunk. The Fear is real guys! No real regrets though, we had the time of our lives, total embarrassment regularly but mistakes are how we all learn, right?

After university I didn’t drink much again, real job and a serious relationship and all that.  I still went out with friends but only occasionally.  I still couldn’t handle my drink so more often than not I’d be designated driver.  I didn’t need a drink to have a great time.  Sometimes, however, I would have a drink and occasionally that meant I’d end up in some silly state of being asleep (not good in a nightclub), a stumbling mess or being sick and I’d always pay for it the next day.

Some nights I paid for more than others…

This was the day after my friends 30th, 5 years ago.  I tried to get a piggy back from her husband but he was drunk too and I somehow ended up face planting concrete.  I can’t even explain how embarrassed or ashamed I felt to go to the hospital to get checked the next day, or going to work on the Monday with a face like that, not to mention the looks that Kevin would receive.  My stomach turns every time I look at that picture I escaped with a a fractured eye socket but it could have easily had a very different outcome.  Why I didn’t stop drinking there and then I’ll never know!

I’ve taken part in dry January and sober October because really I could go months without drinking it was not a challenge, I’m sure I’ve even gone a year without drinking just by accident. I was never really too fussed.

Until I turned 30 that is…

I celebrated turning 30 for a whole month because why not? I had a party with friends, I had a celebration with family on my actual birthday and I went to Vegas for a week. I managed to drink A LOT and  didn’t seem to get as drunk and no hangovers, well not as bad at least, I’d finally figured out how much I could handle or knew when I’d had enough, does that come with age?  Maybe it just took me a while.

Since then I can have sociable drinks, I’ll have wine on a Friday if I feel the need to wind down from the working week. Even if I do get a little tipsy, I now can finally enjoy having a drink without being ashamed of the state I’d end up in.

Rewind to last Saturday, Danielle and I went to our friend Kim’s for pre drinks, well, we had intended going out but after a few glasses of champagne that totally went straight to my head, I had to go home, sick. I realised later that I hadn’t eaten much all day and Danielle confessed she’d been topping my glass up because I was drinking too slow.  It was like being 17 again.

So for my health and fitness, for my friends who endure my drunken stupor, for Kevin who endures my whinging hangovers and for my safety (see above photo) I am retiring from alcohol…..until May the 21st anyway, Kim and Danielle I expect to see you pair at the finish line with a bottle of champagne chilling!

Can you relate to my relationship with alcohol? 

Have you ever done anything silly when under the influence?

Cheers to that!

Thanks for reading❤

Have a great day 😊

Angela xo